As I listen to JS Bach's Sonatas for Viola de Gamba and Harpsichord(a 1994 recording featuring Keith Jarrett on harpsichord and Kim Kashkashian on viola) I think of my uncle's vast appreciation of classical music. I wish my late Uncle Charlie would have written a blog like this. It would have been a good way to articulate all of his complex feelings and to write about music interests too. My relationship with Charlie got dramatically better toward the end of his life, but there were still things to do, to stay that leave me with a profound sense of frustration. Our best talks were our "Tuesday nights with Charlie" phone conversations, the memories of which I will treasure forever.
A recent study in American Sociological Review based on interviews with nearly 1500 people by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago states that 25% of Americans feel that there is no one close with whom they confide in about things that are important to them. Eighty percent of respondents confided solely in family. This study has been continuing since 1985, when the average person reported 3 people to confide in (compared to 2 in 2004) and only 57% of people relied solely on family members to confide in. In a society that is designed to tear us apart in good times and bad, our most radical act is to strengthen the bonds between us across all our social divisions. We must actively resist any attempts to force us or our neighbors to suffer alone or to fear invisibility.
So Charlie, whereever you are, this blog is dedicated to you. You suffered alone far too much. You had many thoughts and feelings but you held up because you perceived the thoughts to be too socially unacceptable. You reached out at end, but in some ways it was too late. His feelings about God? "I don't believe any of that stuff." Hopefully my dear uncle had something to cling to at the very end, at the very least he clung to the fact that I believed in him very much. One of my friends from out east put it succinctly, saying that I carry on many of the traits of Uncle Charlie and that is the best tribute possible to him. Amen.
3 comments:
Thanks for the comment! I'd glad to see you're an Oaks fan. :) Greg, my husband, plays guitar for them. How did you hear about them?
My brother had told me about The Oaks, saying they had an interesting sound. He was right:)
What is the new CD called and how much does it cost?
Hi:
You posted a message on my blog and this brought me to your blog! I appreciated your comments and yes, you can add my blog to your list. I really like the post on your uncle and found it moving that we have so few people that we can confide in or feel close to. People are helped by those who listen to them and appreciate them and do not judge them. What a loving nurture we can be just to listen and be present for others. Thanks for your contact with my blog and thanks for writing. I will be reading more of your posts. I did publish your comments on my post by the way.
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